+ a beau__tiful ho___

February 28, 2007

Hellos you blog. I'm so sorry I haven't been updating you that often. Hammies have been peeing on their running wheel. Boohoo. ):

But they're still my babies. :D

Time to study.

-nIx- @ [[9:13 PM]]

I got two babies.

I shall name them sunshine and baby. :D

-nIx- @ [[12:27 AM]]

February 27, 2007

I can't get to sleep. Bloody flasher hahaha.

-nIx- @ [[12:53 AM]]

February 26, 2007

`flasher on the go.

Val, Lic and me decided to eat at KFC, Takashimaya. So we went about ordering our food and while waiting for them to cook the chicken(which took so bloody long), this guy sat at the table beside ours and opened the newspaper.

Lic : "Nix, want to bet on soccer?"
Me : Blablablablabla, etc

Then when we finally get our chicken, apart from the complains of hot and ouch, everything else was fine.

After I'm almost completed with my 2nd piece of chicken, I start to turn to the next table because the guy has been there for the past half hour reading the same page and not ordering anything.... I turned to look at him.

Viola, that bastard is wearing something similar to a FBT shorts and nothing inside and his dick is sticking out from the shorts.

After that I just lost my appetite and moved my whole plate to the other end of the table. Wanted to borrow Val's phone to type something but had to wash my hand because they were oily. By the time I went back the guy rushed off.

And then I found out that lic had been staring at the guy since I moved. Then he pretended to pick up the phone and go I'm coming down now or something and rushed off.

Lic is one fierce girl. HAHAAHa.

What a turnoff.

-nIx- @ [[9:11 PM]]

Take a bow, the night is over
This masquerade is getting older

Time to clear all the junk in the fridge. I've always been in love with you. I guess you've always known it's true. You took my love for granted, why oh why? The show is over, say good-bye

-nIx- @ [[12:58 PM]]

`unfinished ~~symphony~~story.

Yup, I'll just let it be. I've lost the enthusiasm and motivation to finish it. But it's fine. I'll wait till I have some more free time. It's about time to start studying.

Apparently, Little Miss Sunshine seems to be a very good movie or something but then I was so bored after watching it for 5minutes. Maybe I'll catch it some other time when I'm free.

Going to Sentosa or somewhere before class on Thursday. Wheepedo. So that would probably mean one of the more fun times we'll have together before we all start muggin at the library. Jac is motivated to study. Hahaha.

I want to watch Prisonbreak.

-nIx- @ [[11:38 AM]]

Things to aim for relating to 2.6.

Top 3 in Singapore - Lunch at any Tung Lok group restaurant except Jade
Top 3 in the world - Lunch and dinner at any Tung Lok group restaurant except Jade
Top in the world - Jade

Today's(Yesterday) class was supposed to be 2pm to 7pm. But we ended at like 8pm. Had a friend waiting from 7pm at the school for us to end. LOL.

It's possible but I don't think I'm cut out for it. Maybe Jasmine can. (: We'll egg each other on! Haha.

I remember this song I sent someone some time ago.

; you're the sweet dreams that soothe me when I can't fall asleep.

-nIx- @ [[1:48 AM]]

Grapevine was great! So fun. I learnt at least 3card games. 5stars, daidee and somethign else. Or maybe I only kow 2. Hahaha.

The food there is really YUMMY! and price is reasonable. =D

The only bad point is, there's people smoking there and I smelt like smoke when I was on the bus.

But all the rest is a plus! Muahaha. I want to go back and eat more food.

I know I've been a real bad girl
I didn't mean for you to get hurt

-nIx- @ [[1:05 AM]]

February 25, 2007

Weird dreammmmmmmmm.

I have classes on weekends! Baka. Time to grow up. One step away from adolescence.

-nIx- @ [[12:30 PM]]

To think, thinking, thought.

Right now at the top of my shopping list are more important items like the following below.
1. Fridge
2. Washing machine
3. Heater
4. Clothes. =D

And then after that short moment, we return back to reality - to our totally different lives, uncertain about the next time I'd be able to contact you. But I'm happy enough for now, I hope it'd stay this way for a little longer.I'm starting to be afraid that I'd miss you because of this. I'm afraid to sink into depression once again.
Save me.

-nIx- @ [[12:18 AM]]

February 24, 2007

And then admist all that enjoyment,
you stop and start wondering
; what am I doing?

and so I know considerably much more about you then I did before for the longest time ever. I'm really thankful that you're still talking to me like a friend and not just hellos and good byes. Thank you.
Bad bad bad flu and cough. I suffered pretty much in class today. Doctorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Soon, soon.

I have windows slamming wide open right now and then I realised I'm not the only one having the same problems. I saw 2 neighbours close their windows when I was doing my rounds.Of course, I hope you'd learn to manage your time well too. Enjoy as much as you can while you're out on the weekends. Sometimes the things you do sounds really pitiful. I hope you get out soon. (:
Everything else's pretty fine - very, perhaps.

Today is a cheery day. ((:

-nIx- @ [[3:17 PM]]

February 23, 2007

nIx is one very, very happy bunny! :D

Random sms-es from the sunshine from the later part of shopping till now.Looks like you really know when to appear but not when to disappear. Because if I had the choice I'd choose you to be there always. But it's fine.
Bah bah black sheep. I have flu~ I need to sleep early. Morning class tomorrow. I'm so gonna be late. -.- Packing time!

Why do you still make me so very happy? Hmm.

-nIx- @ [[10:41 PM]]

afraid ; probably,
to know what the future brings
- because she's afraid
; afraid to fall.

Plane was full. Negative 20 for the 9pm flight, another 20 for the 11pm flight. So it snowballed to negative 40. Tomorrow morning's flight is negative 3 meaning negative 43. Till tomorrow night, it's a little safer.

I wonder why they always allow people to overbook. A little is fine, I understand, but not when it goes all the way to 40 unavailable seats?

I bought a jigsaw puzzle. Kiddy I know, but you'll have to understand that it's Lilo and Stitch themed! Ah, love.

PMS. That explains the cramps I've been having earlier on. I hope I don't become a bitch and bark at people. Meow~

I feel so evil trying my best not to sms people just because I want to keep names on that sent list. I don't know how to phrase it. Nevermind, known to self. Good enough.

*Pats myself on the back* I don't know what for.

Tonight, WE GO SHOPPING! Hurrah. I wonder if I can even find anything nice. =/

-nIx- @ [[12:01 AM]]

February 22, 2007

Awoken at 9+pm because there was a visitor at home. One with a third American, another third Australian and a final third Singaporean slang. My sis's boyfriend(I suppose). Apparently he and dad started on a good note, they click very well.

I guess the only thing that caught my ear was that the guy played hockey in JC. Sounds familiar eh? Unfortunately, that guy injured his leg while playing.Thank God the worst situation you got was stitches in your knee.
More shopping. More being broke.

-nIx- @ [[11:06 AM]]

I couldn't find the song on radioblogclub so I found one on youtube after I remembered there was such a web.

Lots of wondering to do. I am dead tired.

I need to study when I wake up tomorrow. I hope there's no disruptions.

-nIx- @ [[2:05 AM]]

You're the only one whose eyes I'm able to look deep into, to feel loved, safe, calm, blessed, comforted, motivated and really really happy all at one time. You're the only one I ever fell so deep for. Will I get to see you again? Life is tough without you.
Yay. nix is gonna get hamsters! <3 lic. I've already got a few names in mind. =x I like how they're so cute and cuddly with such smooth fur.

At least if I get them they'd be one reason more why nix should stay at home, excluding the bumping activity nix has on Fridays and weekends. She can't stay home on those days - there must be a term for that.

Ps. Don't buy Guardian cotton squares. They always come out in halves when I peel them apart. Watsons brand is better. Just that I couldn't find loose packs the time I wanted to buy them.

-nIx- @ [[12:51 AM]]

February 21, 2007

Lin gave me a new nickname. Nix the stalker.

It's okay, I stalk blogs that's all. I'm as harmless as a bee - at the very most I have a really sharp and glib tongue that'd sting. But no, I'm staying away from that, as far away as I can take it.

THANK GOD, she's going to be gone tomorrow. Before she does, I'll do a spot check on her bag so my stuff don't go missing.

Now mum's being an idiot for giving my sis a camera because my sis spoilt the Creative camera. Claims she didn't drop it but it has obvious dents by the sides. Like I said, idiot. Now we've got no camera.

-nIx- @ [[11:21 PM]]

; it just feels so weird
but all I can do,
is to only sit by the side
to watch everything unfold
and wonder...
if i ever did anything to deserve this

I need to go fly kite and learn to not stress myself out in this faster paced part of the world.

One day I'll break down real badly, I know it may not be now, but it will be very soon. I feel it coming. And when it does, there's no way in stopping myself. It'll be tough to live then, but whatever it is, I better enjoy myself the best I can now before it's too late.

One thing I know about me, I don't forgive or forget easily. I bear grudges. So think twice before stepping on my tail.

Somehow everything seems like a daily ritual of old habits ; without the same feelings as before.

; even the best fall down sometimes
even the wrong words seem to rhyme.

-nIx- @ [[5:19 PM]]

Two wrongs doesn't make a right. But I figured out that since I saw a few $10 notes lying in her room I'd just take 3 and give her back $4 change in exchange for that red top she wore out 1. without my permission and 2. I intended to sell away.

Some other time, I'll hunt for all my missing jackets.

I don't get what's in her mind. Her skin is like a full blown disease and she still wears my shirt and gets those pus stuck on them. How the hell do I dare to wear them? So I put them in the washing machine and then I don't see them again anymore.

-nIx- @ [[4:57 PM]]

People around me are idiots.

1. I have at least 2 shirts dyed greenish tint, one of which is my favourite shirt. Shit. Bitch.
2. The dentist is a pain in the ass. Imagine something foreign stuck in your body for almost 2 weeks that's not supposed to be there. String, not tooth.
3. People still talk to me non-stop even though I don't reply. Morons. Stop irritating the shit out of me.

And there are of course people I don't mind talking to but those are the minority. I think those are the only exceptions to the idiots I mention above.

-nIx- @ [[11:16 AM]]

Do you still know why my mouth is so bloody swollen? My stitch is still half in my mouth.

-nIx- @ [[12:41 AM]]

I am tired. I woke up at 8+am.

-nIx- @ [[12:24 AM]]

February 20, 2007

How many fucking times can she piss me off? She can't even leave me alone with more than 1week of peace. BITCH.

-nIx- @ [[2:20 AM]]

February 19, 2007

; and sometimes, the only thing stopping us
is fear.

I've received my results. But before I release it to the rest of the world, there's someone else who deserves to know it more than any other. But how do I get about it?

I hate being stuck in this helpless situation. It makes me cry. All the shops are closed and I'm stuck in these 4 walls of the house.

Why am I crying?I hate this feeling. I feel so helpless. And it doesn't help to bring time back to the past.

-nIx- @ [[1:10 PM]]

; hello stranger, we're worlds apart now.
how can i recede the situation?

Hello results day! So dowill I make you proud?

It takes a lot of courage..just to say hello. What is the world becoming now? Bah.

-nIx- @ [[1:48 AM]]

February 18, 2007

; i've been thinking of you at an increasingly alarming rate lately

How many people actually say something and mean it? Or maybe it did mean something only then, not now.

On a lighter note since this is a festive season, Happy Chinese New Year to all.

-nIx- @ [[10:50 AM]]

; how come, how long?

I have class todayyyyyyyyyy. Serious?

Went to Chinatown to squeeze with the crowd. Bought junk.

2.30am. I am tiredddddddddd but my hair isn't dried yet. =/

-nIx- @ [[1:56 AM]]

February 17, 2007

The scary part about life is....

People come and go so easily. Be it the people whom you were once very close to or best friends or loved ones or just friends.

Plenty of reasons to dislike Chinese New Year
1. I hate those ching chang music, especially techno versions.
2. The shops are all closed and they made me feel so depressed last year.
3. Money to us kids also means my parents have to give out money too, sometimes I feel so bad and I return them the money I collect, at other times I just chuck them in a safe place and forgot where I placed them till the next year. As usual, I still do hate money but that doesn't mean I'd give mine to you. As long as I don't go broke like I did a few days ago, I'm fine.
4. Yet another reason to have sales. Pre, during and post. I have no money to shop.
5. Uncles and Aunts who keep asking questions they know the answer to just to be friendly and whatnots.
6. I wish I'd have that call by you at 2am to wish me Happy New Year.
I swear if that aunt comes anywhere near me one more time I will call the police and get a restraining order. For my mum's sake, I wouldn't care if she invited her sister to any meal, I'll just make sure I don't come.

-nIx- @ [[9:48 PM]]

; to laugh and cry over random stuff.

I was crossing the overhead bridge when I suddenly thought about how I always stayed back after school and asked for someone to complete my chinese composition just because mine was half paged long and I needed to submit a 2paged essay by the end of the day. What a laugh.

What now?

-nIx- @ [[6:40 PM]]

; dowill i make you proud?

Exam results in 2 days. I'll leave it to God whatever the results are.

I can't believe it. The more I think, the more I seem like 2nd hand junker. She takes my NEW undies I fold neatly and placed at the back of the drawer and wears them. I bought a lot to keep because they keep disappearing. It's fucking disgusting to share. She gets new pieces and I get worn ones? Go get your own man. Disgusting bitch, go return to Aussie now.

I'm so bloody pissed thinking about it.

-nIx- @ [[11:49 AM]]

BITCH. This is the 2nd time she's put in a clothes that runs colour and also the 2nd time she denies it's the t-shirt she put in.

She says she doesn't even recognise the t-shirt, hasn't seen it before. But I swear I saw her wearing it twice already. Bitch. How do I know? The shirt was mine.

-nIx- @ [[11:11 AM]]

Past few days have been pretty happy-sad for me. A 50/50 draw for both, I suppose.

Went to visit our secondary school teachers today! Wheeeeeee. So fun. We ate FOOD WE MISSED SO MUCH. Plus we did lanterns today! <3<3

I really miss school and school uniforms. But jy, there's no way you can psycho me to wear one out.

IT's 2am. I am tired. Sigh.Truth to be told? I wish I could see you and talk to you about everything that's happened so far. I'm really stressed out. ): You were my only listening ear that made me one very happy bunny after I was done.

; perhaps the happy facade has begun to wear off
i don't know and i don't want to know.

-nIx- @ [[1:33 AM]]

February 15, 2007

I would so love to SCREW the bank for not giving me my money.

Rightfully, when we approach the bank and deposit money, we are LENDING them money. Bloody hell, don't even let me draw a bloody cent even though I have a minimum of $20 inside. Screw you!

I had to pay for my medicine with my last $3.20 and I was left with $0.00 and no money at all to even get a drink for downing my medicine.

Screw banks once again.

-nIx- @ [[2:51 PM]]

asdfasdfd

-nIx- @ [[10:12 AM]]

February 14, 2007

`It's day like this I can't wait for to come, but sometimes also to wish they didn't occur. It's good because I get to meet my friends!But on the other hand, I'm so unsure when it comes to you. Should I wish you a Happy Valentines Day? I guess I'd skip it this time round.
Went to the doctor for painkillers, gastric medicine and she gave me milk packets too! Strawberry and vanilla flavoured. ENSURE LIFE from Abbott. LOL.

Tomorrow I go to the dentist! Yayyyyyy. So not looking forward to that.. pain? But then again, I don't really bother myself with pain. I just hate the swelling.

Too late to turn back.it's past midnight now, no more valentines day.

-nIx- @ [[10:37 PM]]

Dear Nix( my lifelong bestie)

HEY GIRL. you';ve been a wonder these years. heheheh. all my most rebellious plans include you one way or another. HAH and i'll never forget you this valentines..
Angez (that random)

-----

Dear angez,

Of course your dearest nix can't forget how we got detention from escaping the hot sun outside the science lab to the luxury of the fans in class and how we never ever went for detention(and not get in trouble either). We should have done more! ):

Happy Valentines Day!

Love,
nIx <3

-nIx- @ [[6:23 PM]]

NEW TEMPLATE UP! EDITS TO BE DONE TMR!

-nIx- @ [[12:09 AM]]

February 13, 2007

NIX IS BACK!

1st day was by the beachside and it left me with A LOT of spare time which got me thinking, furthermore I couldn't sleep because it was noisy and so at 2am I was still up. The plus point was collecting seashells and looking at the stars, I could count more than 50! Wouldn't mind going back there again.I'm not cut out for rural life. Plenty of free time has got me thinking. Perhaps I miss you a little more than I should right now. My mind's a mess.
2nd day - Malacca(I hope the spelling's right) Shopping and more shopping! -.- The great part about going overseas is that my parents allow me to buy stuff with almost no questions asked. Of course, prices have to be reasonably fair.

Tomorrow is Valentines' Day. No date! Hehehehe.

-nIx- @ [[11:00 PM]]

February 11, 2007

; the past few days has susceptibly got me
falling into issues i shouldn't be stepping into
- and i don't know what to do.

I feel so vulnerable for letting myself fall deeper into these kinda stuff. I haven't studied for 3days(excluding classes where my mind has recently decided to blank out from, still).

Right now, I look like a goldfish, or maybe like that fat buddha statue where people go and rub his tummy for wealth or something, if I remember correctly. Whatever I wear, I still look fat - so I've been sticking to T-shirts pretty much lately.

I'm getting a new blog skin, credits to ANGEZ. Will update tomorrow(today, after I wake up). So this is one very excited and happy nIx(apart from the mouth).

11th February (angez's spelling : feblooerry or feburly) spells 1 month since I felt that I lost a really close friend whom I just talked to ONCE about 14days ago. Sometimes it just gets me so confused I just end up murmuring rubbish to others around me. I guess the good point is that it teaches me to stand up for myself.And then dreams come along and I don't feel like I really lost you after all. I don't know, I really don't. And so sometimes ignorance is bliss. Sometimes it bothers me, but at least I've not crossed the line yet. (: You've made me wonder a lot, and now I still wonder pretty much whenever I'm free. Next week, if there's good news, you'll be one the first to know. I promise, because I owe it all to you this time round.
Ah. It also spells another week or so to the examination results. I CAN'T WAIT. Save me from the tension. Although I expect to fail my favourite subject, I really don't know. I'll just have to accept the fact I passed or failed for that particular subject. For the rest, if I fail, I'll definitely cry - because it's going to be unexpected. I hope I don't get a fail for law because of plagiarism. Even so, my handwriting was a mess.

Mouth, get well soon please. Stop swelling and making me look FAT. ):

I'm pretty much feeling like a confused furball now.

Till then, people make me happy especially with Lin's new creation which makes me obsessed with staying online till 2am in the morning. Yay!

-nIx- @ [[12:47 AM]]

February 10, 2007

Bear with me because I can't talk much so my only other exit is through here.

RANDOM

I don't understand why people stay one stop away from the MRT and still bother to cross the road, wait for the bus and then get off at the next stop. The time to wait for the bus and the time to walk home is almost the same!

I'd rather walk home. Even for a student, 45cents ISN'T that cheap after all if you'd count 5days x 2ride = 10rides a week at least, include rebates and its still $3.50. Mind you, how much can you save in a month? $14. And students don't even have income. Better still for adults, let's count with 65cents! It makes $26 bucks. 2stops is reasonable for one to take a bus, but not when the bus stop is in sight from the MRT. It's a waste of money.

Okay, so maybe the adults can afford it, but school kids haven't even earned any income and they're not as busy as working adults.

Porridge - I'm getting sick of it. Been eating century egg for ages. I bet I'll die of cholestrol soon.

-nIx- @ [[2:14 PM]]

Still being up at this time when I'm suppose to be in bed and rest as much as I can to recuperate fast is bad.

But I figured since I slept most of my afternoon away a little bit won't kill.

But then again, I have morning class and I have to get up in 5.5hours time.

But then again, I'm always at least 10minutes late for ALL morning classes.

And then again, I think I talk too much at times when unnecessary. Now I wish I could do the same thing again but my mouth will just bleed more. The bleeding's supposed to have stopped but it hasn't.

Time to sleep.

-nIx- @ [[2:04 AM]]

February 09, 2007

; it's a bloody mess in there

All-in-all I think I had 7jabs, 9stitches(at least) and 3 teeth out. I managed to bring mine home. LOL. Jigsaw puzzle. -.- They're kinda disgusting though with GUM stuck to it. Hahaha.

My social life kinda tough.

Last week, I went home with this girl I met in class. She speaks Chinese, I'm sure she does speak english of course but I'd figure she'd definately be more comfortable speaking Chinese. And because of my limited vocabulary, I can't talk much. Awkward trip home. But she's friendly.

And then, there are also people who can strike off any random conversation even after not meeting for half a year, or even 2years. Like all the people from Superteens. Well of course not all of them but most of them. But I still love them anyway. =xWell of course I hope you'd remain the same as before. I'd hate losing people close to me. But whatever happens, time changes everything, and I hope I'll learn to accept it then.
Luo Ping suddenly msn-ed me to wish her good luck for today's O Level examination results so : babe, all the best! I know you can get into whatever course you want. Don't worry. xD

I need to collect my MP3 and shopping! Probably consider if I should still stick to that MP3 or sell it off and get rid of this LIABILITY(I swear it's one), top up a little for an ASSET.

I hate accounting terms. They limit my vocabulary. I understand what I'm typing but most people don't. And then it's hard to explain because I have no other words in mind to replace that particular word. I feel stupider by the minute now. LOL.

Today is no study day(and so was yesterday). I feel bad but there's nothing much I can do about it. -.- It's Friday after all, right?

-nIx- @ [[11:04 AM]]

February 08, 2007

Seriously, if people keep blaberring and nobody responds, I understand.

But I don't fucking understand why people keep asking me the same question over and over again repeating in the span of minutes or even SECONDS. Madness. Isn't one answer enough and final? Fuck.

My mouth hurts like shit. I can't talk so stop asking me fucking questions like "do you want to eat?" and then going on to "You got to eat because you can't eat medicine on an empty stomach." x a million times. Of corse I fucking know la. But I can't even open my bloody mouth any wider than 2cm and you expect me to eat? I can't even drink water for goodness sake.

Fuckkkk.

-nIx- @ [[11:27 PM]]

; let me BLEED for you.

Hahaha. I'm alive. Hello?

Tonight I get to go to class! I hope. Lol.

-nIx- @ [[4:20 PM]]

I need more time to think. Urgh. I'm damn indecisive.You are so right.

I wish you could make the decision for me this time round.I think I'd still trust your opinion rather than mine, even more so now.
How now brown cow?

I'm reminiscing my posts of all my dreams. They're all so funny. You're always having to go off half-way and back at a later time, if I'm not awoken.

My gosh, I can scare myself with my posts. So extreme. Will remove it in a few days time.

Beneath hope - fakes, lies, deceit.
Endless tears, it marks her defeat.
Magical moments, flustered with excitement.
boring nights she lives in isolation.
painstakingly drawn - a picture of what used to be
and how she fell fool to that facade.
Fakes, lies, deceit.

In the outside world ; a fallen person.
She feels the pain too, she wants to help.
But all she can do is stand by the sidewalk,
praying, worrying and watching.

In the outside world ; two hollering people,
everyone throwing the ball back to one another
wishing it'd not stay that way.
She hates pain, she wants it her way.

In the outside world ; nobody's around.
Helpless ; all she can do is cry those tears.
Seeking solace ; running away.
Around and around in circles she goes.

In the outside world ; dark clouds hover.
She can't see her sunshine no more.

Created : 1 Sept 2006
Copyright nIx 2006,2007.

Man, I need to start sleeping earlyyyyyy. Bad bad bad.

-nIx- @ [[12:44 AM]]

February 07, 2007

just like how broken glass would never
look perfect again even if it's fixed.
there's still going to be a degree of imperfection
in everything that looks perfect.
; it's different.

Last night I was about to sleep till I realise my bears were missing. Went out to get them but they were nowhere in sight. Then I found them on the sofa hidden from my sight behind the armrests.

I backed out lol. Not being superstitious or whatever and definitely not because I'm scared of pain. But at least it beats having the fear of dying smack right in front of me. But shit! Today I woke up with my mouth all aching badly. The same feeling in school too after I rested for like 5-10minutes. Why does it come back when I don't want to go? =/

-nIx- @ [[10:14 PM]]

February 06, 2007

There's something bothering me and I really don't know what to do now.

I admit it's something I wouldn't bother wasting my time with half a year ago and if anything happened then, it'd a perfect reason why I didn't survive till now. But it's different now.

Even if it's rare, there's still a chance of it happening. Been feeling like this since I woke up. I'm not done with life yet, definitely.

I don't know what to do now. Perhaps dreams do play a part in decisions too.Perhaps I still need you to keep me alive and smiling. Just a little dose of you every now and then. I'd like that, or at least I'd like to think in that manner.

; should i stay,
or should i go?

-nIx- @ [[6:04 PM]]

; dreams that make you want to sleep,
just for a little longer

And so I slept at 4.45am, had someone try wake me up at 5.15am but I just went back to sleep till about 8+ for breakfast and back to sleep again till about 12.30pm. Damn. I better start studying soon.

My dream was really nice, just that the possiblility of it being true in reality is like 99.9%. Dreams really tell a lot about what you want. Although it may still be possible to some extent, I don't think so.So I guess I still miss you a little after all.
What to do? Just move on.

Maybe I should start collecting my textbooks and revision kits (long due) and read them as storybooks to counter my late night sleeping habits. At least it'd be put to good use.

-nIx- @ [[12:56 PM]]

Oh man it's so early now.

How to wake up at 5am when it's already 4.32am? =/

-nIx- @ [[4:33 AM]]

I feel damn guilty because my parents have to blast $800 in 2days time for me and pay about 20k to some school for the other daughter of theirs. I hope my results earn me another 2vouchers..... then at least I can have good news to tell you again too. (:

NO MORE SPENDING!

For once, I'm afraid. I'm still wondering if I should risk the chance of not waking up rather than deal with the discomfort for the rest of my life and hope for it to stop. I really don't know. I still have so many things waiting up for me, so many others waiting to be done. First up on the lists - HOLIDAY, Valentines with friends, my results.

I need to sleep soon.

Random.
[x] You know someone that cares about you.
[ ] You have a girlfriend/boyfriend/fiancee/ husband/ wife.
[x] You have your own room.
[x] You own a cell phone.
[x] You have an ipod/ mp3 player.
[x] Your parents are still married.
[x] You have more than 2 best friends.

T O T A L: 6

[x] You dress how you want to.
[x] You hang out with friends more than once a week.(excluding exam time)
[x]There is a computer and laptop in your house.
[ ] You have never been beaten up.
[ ] You never cry more than twice a month.
[x] You are allowed to listen to the music you want to.
[x] Your room is big enough for you.
[x] People don't use you for something you have.
[x] You have been to a concert.
[x] You laugh more than twice a day.

T O T A L: 8

[x] You have over 50 friends on Friendster.
[ ] You have pictures on myspace.
[x]Your parents let you have a Friendster(would they even care? -.-)
[x] You have no problem in your studies.
[x] You collect something normal.
[x] People don't make fun of you to be mean.
[x] You look forward to going to school.
[ ] You don't wish you were someone else.
[x] You do something after school at home/outside.
[x] You always pass ALL the subjects in exams.

T O T A L: 8

[x] You family owns a car
[x] You usually don't fight with your parents.
[x] You are happy with your appearance/looks.
[ ] You aren't self-conscious at all.
[x] You have friends.
[ ] Your parents working salary monthly is more than $4000.(I don't really know)
[x] You know your parents care and love you.

T O T A L: 5

[x] You know what is going on in the world.
[x] You care about so many people.
[x] You are happy with your life.
[x] You usually aren't sick.
[ ] You know more than one language.(LOL. Unless it's a little bit of everything)
[x] You have a screen name.
[x] You've gotten awards/ prizes/trophies before.
[x] You know the words to more than 5 songs.
[x] You dont have any enemies at all.(I HOPE (: LOL.)
[x] You are happy that you're living.

T O T A L: 9

Now count the number and multiply by 2.
Then repost saying 'My life is xx% happy'

So my life is 72% happy! A grade for this test okay? =D I definitely know it's gonna be less than 50% half a year ago.

1.32am and I am sleepy!

-nIx- @ [[12:40 AM]]

February 05, 2007

No more shopping. My bank is left with 23 or 26CENTS. Hahaha. After withdrawing $20, I had to top up the card with $10. Left with about $12 for the rest of my miserable life till my account gets topped up.

Old man selling me that pair of slippers suck! I just ended up yayapapaya-ing with him because I for one, can't speak chinese and he is OLD so I shall not be so disrespectful. Besides, I needed that slippers. $10 only what. The bottom will most probably wear out before the top does. I just don't like them to act smart anyway.

Creative has kept my mp3 for the 2nd time, this time for 3days. I have this feeling I should sell it away!

Next Friday I get dark chocolate! Tomorrow I will either go Bishan or National library to study.

Time to do work!

-nIx- @ [[10:36 PM]]

Talks with random people have proved meaningful. At least I get to relate with them a little.

I think the best solutions has always been right before our eyes, just that we ignore it or fail to notice it.

A few things I've realised/need to learn/learnt to accept(randoms again!)
1. To let things happen naturally.
2. Not wanting to rewind and start all over. I just want to accept the facts and learn from my actions - mistake or not. I learnt so much! After all, what's done is done. Besides, it's just different ; now that I've learnt a little more about how people feel. (:
3. Treasure what I have now to the fullest!
4. I've got the highest records of pimples in my entire life!(really random but true. boo)
5. STOP SHOPPING! You are broke nix. Start selling instead.
6. Stop bumping(or since it always fails, stop trying.) ]:
7. Start studying intensively.
8. Don't stress myself out(so contradicting!)
9. Learn to sleep early(it's 2.12am now)
10. Enjoy life when I can
11. Chocolate anyone? I need dark chocolate badly!
12. Top of my list is to ~!@#$%^&* Creative today.
13. Headache is killing me now.

-nIx- @ [[1:44 AM]]

February 04, 2007

I love my watch! So there went $45.

Lunch was turkish food which totalled to $50.40 for 2. ~!@#$%^&* expensive. Spent the rest of the time with gachapons and in Marina Square walking.

Afternoon with lin and jun shopping for junk.

And so... bumping didn't work again. =/

I am broke. Time to study tomorrow.

-nIx- @ [[9:56 PM]]

Teethache > mouthache > headache > bodyache. All the aches you can think of!

I practically kept resetting my alarm from 9am till 11am.

CHOCOLATE DAY! Whoo. I so need to destress.

-nIx- @ [[11:37 AM]]

I forgot to include that while I was at Mac's (you know they always have this TV playing?). The TV was so loud I got distracted and then it showed this mini clip of this girl talking on the phone, apparently sounded fake because of her accent and her pauses are too short. Ended up with her heels getting stuck in the drain. Jasmine and I had a good laugh! I can't remember the website for that but it had the words design and 10 in it. Saw another web which was www.atlife.sg

OFF TO SLEEP. I am so damn tired.

-nIx- @ [[1:38 AM]]

I hate Saturdays ; for a different cause.

Used to love it, then hate it, then don't mind it and now I hate it.

I spent my whole Saturday in school. Morning class 9.30am - 1pm, lunch and study, Night class 6pm to 11pm.

Since he postponed the test, we had to compromise with having to write a 2paged memorandum for one of the questions and we have homework too. And since it's due by Thursday and I most probably can't attend, I have to pass it to Jas by Wednesday. =/

CREATIVE SUCKS. I recorded half a class, that MP3 said recording in process whenever I touched any button so I supposed it was recording. And the battery was green. Then during break when I tried to pause it "Saving in process" and it got stuck there for more than 5minutes. Took out the battery and tried to turn it on. "Low battery". I just fully charged it yesterday! Come home only to realise the recording didn't save. Don't support Creative.

I am so sleepy. Tomorrow I get to go out and eat CHOCOLATE! whee.

; i just want you to know
that I've been fighting to let you go
some days I make it through
and then there's nights that never end

-nIx- @ [[12:08 AM]]

February 03, 2007

Makes no sense at all but I listened to this on the bus ride home and liked the chorus. Now if anyone could go tell me the reason for this song's creation do feel free to leave it in the tagboard or msn me.

I realised how very lifeless I can be. Plus the mini conversation with skye about how busy I am especially for weekends this semesterand how the relationship is most probably not going to last if it ever did make it this far. Lol. Talking rubbish again. =/
Lin just got bombarded by me with 101 questions over some misunderstanding. HAHA. This is the problem of Singaporeans cultivating the habit of using short forms.

Come to think of it, it's funny but I still don't know why I can't shake this habit off even with this no-strings-attached feeling. -.- At least I'm still sane excluding the studying frenzy. =p

Yesterday I ate the worst wanton mee ever! The whole shop has articles and ratings. I give it a 1/5! The noodle is so horrible, I rather eat maggi mee. I can't remember the name of the shop. He Ji Noodles or something like that. That place is filled with FOOD! I want to go there again, anybody want to go? To try OTHER food of course!

Visited my cousin as it was near the food place - he's so cute! Smile at him for awhile and he starts laughing. He has the habit of throwing stuff though, like his hankerchief just now. -.-

I need to sleep. To wake up at maybe 6am to study till 8.30am, go to school for class till 1pm, lunch and study again till class. I MUST finish lecture 5 by then. Makes me such a miserable girl. ): Give me my weekends!

I don't know why I've been typing so much more nowadays. I just can't get to sleep peacefully if I don't and it always feels like a load off my shoulder when I'm done. Maybe I'm afraid I'd lose my memory on random thoughts, things I do and everything else to trying to remember everything I study. On days before the exam, I can't even think of what I did on that day other than study because my mind automatically echoes "focus on what you learn today! Let's start with 1st line.. this, that 2nd line.. 3rd line.." Scary okay?

; and i realize you're behind me, to help and humankind me,
to see my songs can be retold.

; and i'll let you know when it comes,
when it comes i'll let you know
but don't stay up for me,
don't wait up for me
if i'm not home.

-nIx- @ [[12:13 AM]]

February 02, 2007

I AM SO BLOODY ANGRY. AT LEAST I FINISH WHAT I STARTED.

FUCKKKKKKKK. This is not the first time she's been doing this. She starts the laundry and then leaves house because she doesn't have enough time to hang them up.

I am so fucking going to hang up everyone's clothes except hers and help her by conviniently bringing the unhung ones on her bed.

BITCH.

I am so going to clear the toilet of your FILTHY junk too. YOU are so dead.

I'm not your fucking maid. Laundry doesn't automatically fly out and hang themselves on the poles from the washing mashine and up the hooks to dry and then fly down, neatly folded. You watch out bitch, you watch out.

I don't have time for fucking housework and she contributes.

Don't worry I have time for hell.

-nIx- @ [[2:27 PM]]

`3w2d / 6d

Cancelled appointments with friends, operation, results ranking, missed classes, crazy teacher. What more?

Even the mad teacher whose first meeting me was last week could notice that I have pimples popping all over my face which didn't exist last week.

I feel so damn stressed and emotionally upset by all these. I already feel as if the examination dates are a stone's throw away. There's no time to waste.

I need to study. I need to complete all the notes for the classes I missed. I need good news, somebody tell me good news please, any at all!

I miss a handful of people very, very much now - LOL gang, Angelixie and not forgetting the ~~sunshine~~boy.
Sigh. I really miss them all, I really do.

Whenever I get upset it's always you I'm running to. Now all that I'm greeted with when I look around is nothing but blankness.

How long more before this facade collapses and leaves me stranded once again? I don't think I can last that long anymore.

; sometimes I wish it was still like before
where I can run to you whenever
I feel the way I do now.

Reality check. 1, 2, 3.
; wake up.

-nIx- @ [[12:18 AM]]

February 01, 2007

I think if I look at this screen any longer, my eyesight will deteriorate fast.

Note to self : I owe Jy $28 and Lic $4.

I must sleep early. I cannot afford to fall sick. I am upset about my results. What else? My mind can't think properly now. Perfect.

-nIx- @ [[12:33 AM]]